“I sit alone today, in this bench where I first saw her face. One fine afternoon of November when I first looked in her eyes, I’m here at this bench. Right at this bench when I first had the chance to talk to her but I never did, I sited here now to reminisce and… to never forget.”
Four years ago, I met a girl named Jeshia Blake. She wasn’t attractive, clumsy and laughs out loud. She never been insecure and she never fails to have faith on God. She’s simple but the most beautiful creature I’ve ever met. She never tried to be anyone else but herself. Although she’s down-to-earth all the time, that makes her sympathetic and most likely an angel to me.
At first look I never noticed how amazing she is but when I rushed things with her I had learned her ways, had lived with it and had loved it. We became intensely in love with each other. It lasted for five months and I swear I’d be the first stupid guy on earth to be shamefully admitting his faults to his beloved just to have her back.
I’ve been to dates and relationships right after I broke up with her but since then I never found happiness and satisfaction again. Now I realized it was only with her I had found my home. For five months of being with her, I have seen her love for me was real and everlasting. She had given me everything, everything…even if it means that she’d lost me. She had given me her unconditional love and with that she had accept everything that I have done to her. The pain, the sacrifices, the tears, she had it all alone when I choose to break her heart. But then, I never heard her complain. Despite of all the hurts she still managed to smile and woke up from her bed every day. It was then I thought, she had moved on and so I decided to forget about telling her what I have realized. I was afraid too, for she’s been through a lot of hurting and might never want me back in her life and that she’d call me friend, which I cannot take.
I graduated from college and had become a Hotel Manager. I am what I am now because of Jeshia and wherever she is now, I wish she could hear all of this. I wish she could be at my side right at this moment, tenderly hugging me and smiling at me. How I missed her for years that had passed and how I wish I could turn back time.
One faithful afternoon on July, I received a message from my Aunt Cely. Aunt Cely reminds me a lot of Jeshia because they were both close to each other’s heart that is why I decided to never fail on communicating with her. And by my guess, the message was about Jeshia and I was right, it said that Jeshia had just graduated from her college degree and was a Suma Cumlaude of her batch. She worked hard for it, I know and she deserves everything she has.
That night, I was thinking of sending Jeshia a message and tell her everything I’ve been through and that to congratulate her but something on my mind that had made me doubt again. The memory of how hurt she is, for years I decided not to bother her and now I’ll just shocked her with my message? That’s so dumb of me.
I wanted to talk to her. I’m dying to get to her, touch her and kiss her once again. Have her in my arms and never let her go this time but I am so damn scared of what would be her reaction. I skipped night without resting and still, I’m stuck in front of my laptop with no words yet to send to her.
Hours passed and still with nothing when Aunt Cely had beeped me again, her message said, “Today was Jeshia’s flight to Singapore, aren’t you going to talk to her?” It surprised me and I didn’t know what to say. For the first time tears had started to fell from my eyes continuously and I just can’t stop it. I had let her go and today I will never have her back.
Dear Diary,
17th of August, 2010… I saw his strange visage out of the crowd today and it was the first. I don’t know how to explain this familiar feelings I felt when he met my eyes but it was surely frightening. On a second thought I decided to find his face again, hoping this time I could finally tell what it is his eyes telling me. I bet I lost him already when I looked in his way and he’s gone. It’s been 12 seconds exactly since I saw him, this boy whom I don’t even know but my heart is still in a hurry. It keeps on beating faster and faster that makes me forget about my usual routine. Until my friend, Hope, bumped me and dragged me out of the crowd. For several hours I forgot about what I felt and went back to the reality. And tonight, right in front of you diary I remembered him. His eyes, the look in his eyes, I know there’s something about him that makes my heart beat fast. It’s like I want to jump right in front of him and look again in his deep eyes. There is something about him that makes me eager to get through this night, impatient to know things about him and dying to be a part of his life. It was the first meeting but I feel like he was a part of me already…It’s like we were strings attached to each other. I just pray that we’d meet once more.
Yours Truly, JB.
As I scan my e-mail inbox, it was the only piece of her diary that’s left, the rest I didn’t know. She left without a second thought of letting me know and the moment I got the chance to know that she’s leaving; too late…the plane had already left. I wonder how she had handle those things, I wonder how she kept her faith on me and on Him up there, how she had passed all this all by herself…why is it she never thought of quitting. Why is it that until her last breath she’d think of me?
12th of November, 2015… today was our 5th Anniversary and I sit alone today, in this bench where I first saw her face. One fine afternoon of November when I first looked in her eyes, I’m here at this bench. Right at this bench when I first had the chance to talk to her but I never did, I sited here now to reminisce and… to never forget, to remember her forever.
Originally Written By: Jezzyrie Berte || 2k11.
Real || Reel. 